apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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