Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
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I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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