just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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