i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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