Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize