Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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