So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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