She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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