Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are

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  (562): ...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are http://tfl.nu/3209
  Replies (11) Good night (4558) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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  (859): let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break. http://tfl.nu/x35d
  Replies (23) Good night (4988) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.

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  (510): You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen. http://tfl.nu/ldf9
  Replies (20) Good night (1073) Bad night (7262) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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  (717): Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t5hj
  Replies (31) Good night (5892) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (13787) Bad night (1228)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (986) Bad night (3767)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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  (850): And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will. http://tfl.nu/iz1b
  Replies (18) Good night (3005) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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  (252): there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone http://tfl.nu/i05p
  Replies (6) Good night (2315) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1702) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.

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  (540): Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too. http://tfl.nu/nqk1
  Replies (8) Good night (483) Bad night (1599) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms

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  (775): I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms http://tfl.nu/bwoh
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...

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  (256): Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/w83s
  Replies (0) Good night (669) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.

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  (906): When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house. http://tfl.nu/xuce
  Replies (8) Good night (343) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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  (206): Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me http://tfl.nu/vrj3
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt

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