once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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