On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize