I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize