it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize