I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is it penis luge time yet?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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