so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize