i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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