She is in my trunk
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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