I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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