Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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