is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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