Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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