I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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