Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize