Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize