I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you win again, gameday.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize