I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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