I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize