I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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