Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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