Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize