dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
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hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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