Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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