when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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