They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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