My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize