i just google imaged poop.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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