You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize