everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize