they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize