He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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