so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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