did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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