He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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