I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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