i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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