What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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