We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize