If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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