Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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