Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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